The Tension of Liminal Space

I spend a lot of time thinking about the concept of liminal space and the intrinsic human longing to be known and have a sense of belonging.  My senior year at ASU I took a world literature course that focused on the nature of man; we talked a lot about what it means to be human in the most basic sense.  A recurrent theme was man's need for communication, the need to have his/her existence substantiated by his/her environment and surroundings.  The act of telling our stories is how we cope with inner turmoil and process through challenges we face.

We discussed this concept in relation to the Rime of the Ancient Mariner where the story itself is a sort of layered storytelling.  The old sailor is telling his story to a man on his way to a wedding feast, and it is an interesting feature of the story because the tale burdens the man and alienates him in some ways.  The ancient mariner though, has a fundamental need to spin his "rime;" he shares his tale with the wedding guest because his story would lose any chance of significance if it was not passed on.  I think a lot about how true this is within the human experience.  Each of us needs to be heard, we need to live in a community where reciprocity and relationships are possible, and we need to be reminded that we are significant and loved.

An example of "rime" on a sign post

Another reason that the mariner must tell his tale is his need for redemption; his need to be freed from the burden of his guilt.  This is an important part of storytelling; it can be confessional, which can in turn be salvific and transformational.  This is certainly something I have found to be true in my own experiences, even though it often creates some tension.

Building relationships generates some liminal space as there is a chasm between talking about oneself and actually feeling understood.  There is an inevitable period of "getting to know one another" that accompanies pretty much all interactions.  Seminary has felt like one huge transition, full of uncertainty, tension, and the discomfort of growing pains.  There has also been a ton of growth and some beautiful new beginnings, but I want to be honest about the complexity of this journey.

Seminary is this interesting in-between, the time and space in-between hearing a call to ministry and actually being able to start that vocationally.  I have all these dreams about what I want my ministry and life to look like, and now I am in a period of discerning how to make those dreams a reality.  I get so excited about the future that sometimes it is hard to hold on to hope in the hard work of the moment.  My faith is the most intimate and personal part of my life, and it gives meaning to even the most mundane tasks.  But it is hard to maintain the intimacy of my spirituality when seminary can be such an intellectual pursuit.  

And so I find myself in this liminal space, a period of transition, but a period of tremendous potential.  My external circumstances mirror the internal transformation I'm also working through.  There is a perpetual tension between the now and the not-yet.  This is true of my personal journey, the world around me, and the Kingdom of God at large.  So I am trying to embrace the discomfort of the liminality because of my assurance that God has been, is now, and always will be faithful.  Moses lived his whole life looking forward and journeying to the Promised Land even though he never got to enter it.  I am challenging myself to surrender my time in Seminary as a sacrament, a time valuable in and of itself, and not just a means to an end.

This is where I am, trying to embrace this liminal space I find myself in.  Attending to my questions, wonderings, and wanderings instead of ignoring them or trying to run away from them.