Being present where you are

Whelp, here I am again, starting a new school year.  But this one is particularly special because after being in school since the fall of 1997, I am finally starting my last year of school.  That means this is like 19th grade, and my 20th year of being a student....aka the vast majority of my life so far.

1st Row - Left is 1st Day of Freshman Year of College and Right is 1st Day of Senior Year
2nd Row - From Left to Right, the 1st Days of 1st, 2nd, and 3rd Year of Seminary

What is so fascinating and amazing and crazy is to think about all the growth and transformation has happened just from the top left to bottom right photos.  Top-Left me would have laughed in your face if you suggested that I would be going in to ministry, or even going to Seminary.  But God has such a wonderful sense of humor and graciously has plans much bigger and greater than my own limited ability to dream up or imagine.  This year of Seminary is a big one, just one year away from graduating and hopefully starting life in full-time work and ministry.  I also have a ton of big things coming up this fall and year in terms of major life transitions.  Here are just a few:

• Getting married in October and starting life with Shane as husband and wife, all in the midst of both being full-time students 
• Working at Decatur First UMC as co-interim-youth pastor with Shane during this school year, something neither of us have done. So it should be full of great learning opportunities and growing in our ability to work together
• Becoming an Aunt in November to sweet Miss. Isabelle Marie (to say I am excited about this would be a HUGE understatement! Already love this sweet little nugget and can't wait to spoil her!)
• Continuing in the Ordination process in The United Methodist Church, applying to my Board of Ordained Ministry as I pursue Elder's orders
• Trying to fully invest and be present in the rich and vibrant Candler community, celebrating the many gifts this space has, continually standing in awe of this holy place, and making the most of my third and final year in this sanctuary and school

Like I said, so many new things, roles, transitions, changes, and celebrations on my horizon!  My life is so full, and that is really good for my soul.  I love having a full schedule, structure to my days, and lots of things to do.  But, being an extremely type-A, perfectionist, anxious type, I also know that this excitement can quickly turn in to stress, perfectionism, and being overwhelmed.  So I am trying really hard as I start this new semester and school year to commit to being fully present where I am - to not let planning and dreaming about the future rob the gifts of the present.  Because I am continually reminded that the future will come, ready or not, but you can't get back the moment you're in.  I will never be having my last first day of school again, never be engaged to Shane and preparing to be married, never be in this particular community of friends, scholars, and mentors, and so many other things.  

I hope maybe you can find some inspiration or encouragement from this personal intention I'm setting for myself this school year.  If you are a planning type like me, prone to worry, try to let go of those reigns of control that are so enticing and comforting.  And just be present - show up - show up just as you are, stress, nerves, to-do lists, joys, excitements, frustrations, and all the in betweens.  Show up and abide in the presence of the God who is always with us!