A Little Bit Sentimental

Fun fact about me - I am a highly sentimental person. It's actually kind of ridiculous at times, but it's because things mean a lot to me. 

Some examples:

• I have a couple flowers from every bouqet Shane got me while we were dating

• I have a giant shoebox full of cards from different special occasions

• I have ticket stubs or little momentos from countless dates or special trips

• I have an absurd amount of running shoes that are wornout that I never wear, but I feel like they hold too many miles and memories to just toss them

The list could seriously go on and on and anyone reading this would grow increasingly convinced that I am a total weirdo. But honestly, I am okay with that, because I wouldn't change the way I am for the world. I place a lot of value on things that probably seem trivial to most of the world, but maybe it's just my small way of slowing down enough to appreciate the smaller things in life.

What brought this to mind is preparing for my ordination service this weekend. Even though the actual ordination process has been a set number of years, I have been on this journey of faith for my entire life. My call story has been evolving for longer than I've even known what the heck a call story is. Because I am a sentimental person, I have been thinking a lot about the little details of the day. Things I might want to wear, ways I can carry the people I love with me, and ways to honor the journey that has brought me to this place. 

Here are the ideas I have thus far:

One thing I will, without a doubt be wearing is the cross I received when I was confirmed in sixth grade. It's a pretty, mock-stained glass cross that has Isaiah 43:1 on the back (which says, "I have called you by name, you are mine."). I wore this in my interview with the Board before I was approved to be commissioned as a provisional elder, and I wore this in my interview with the Board before I was approved to be ordained as a full elder. It is also a cross I have worn for many worship services or events that felt big and significant. 

The second thing is a river rock in my pocket. Let me tell you the backstory on this one. The Sunday before my interview with the Board of Ordained Ministry this past January, I was SUPER nervous. I'm talking couldn't sleep well, having bad dreams, and feeling nauseous with worry. But that Sunday at church, I led the congregation through remembering our baptisms. This involved dipping our hands into the baptismal font and taking a river rock as a tangible reminder. After that service, my grandparents, close family friends, and several members of my congregation prayed over me and my upcoming interview. It was a moment thick with the presence of the Holy Spirit. I carried the river rock from that service in my pocket when I interviewed with the board, and I am thinking I might carry it in my pocket for my ordination service. Something about it reminds me of how loved and supported I am by both God and the congregation where I serve. 

The last thing I have been thinking about is a Bible. During the service, the ordinands hold a Bible while the Bishop lays hands on them and prays, "take authority as an elder to preach the Word of God, to administer the Holy Sacraments and to order the life of the Church; in the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit. Amen." 

This seems like it should be an easy one, right....but as a pastor and seminary graduate, I own a lot of Bibles. Just in my office alone, I have a parallel Bible, a CEB study Bible, a New American Bible that was my Nana's, the Bible I received when I was confirmed, a Message version, my dad's Bible from CCC that is wrapped in duct and painter's tape, and an NLT study Bible. (insert judgment here....I know, it's a little bit crazy) And there are more Bibles to add to the list if I include the ones in our library at home...the waterproof one, Shane's lego Bible, and the list could go on and on.

The hard part has been deciding which Bible I want to hold in the service! All of them are special to me in their own way. They remind me of people I love, the season of life I was in when I recieved them, and all the growth that happened as I read them. After a lot of mulling over, I have finally decided on which Bible I am going to bring, which is good since we leave for Annual Conference in just a few hours. 

I am bringing my NLT study Bible. And it's not because that's my favorite translation or the one I always preach from - it's because this is the Bible I was given by my family for my high school graduation. The only blank pages at the front of this Bible are now filled with notes my family wrote to me. The notes have encouragement, congratulations, and favorite scriptures shared. So, I will carry this Bible, because in my own small way, it feels like my way of carrying all of my family up there with me on stage on Saturday. To anyone and everyone in my village of family and friends, know that even if you won't be there in person, I am carrying you with me this Saturday. I am so grateful for all the love and support and grace that has brought me this far!