Captivated: A Glimpse of Heaven

Recently for a preaching class this semester, we were assigned to gather 2-3 aspirational sermons and then preach a portion of them in our small groups.  This sent me back, digging through my 6 journals from like 2011 or 12 to present.  It was quite the blast from the recent-past, and also an incredible reminder of just how much the Lord has shaped and changed my heart in the past several years.

I was filled with warm memories of friendships, Bible studies, and sermons from my years at Appalachian.  Making me miss the community I had there and the worship family from the Crossroads service at Boone UMC.  I also read through countless prayers from some of the most challenging seasons of my journey of faith so far.

One thing that showed up several times was something I started praying for my freshman year at App (I think....just redacting here from journals....).  My prayer is that I would be captivated, captivated by God.  As a freshman in college with enough nerves and anxieties to go around, I admired the upperclassmen women and leaders in CRU, who boldly modeled their faith and love for God.  They worshipped God with humility, grace, and no reservations, and truly seemed to be captivated by God in a way that I only dreamed of at that point in my walk with God. 

To me, this idea of being captivated by God implies this sense of getting lost in him, as if nothing else seems to matter when worshipping him.  Like the line in Hillsong's song From the Inside Out, "the art of losing myself in bringing you praise."  The dictionary defines captivate "to attract and hold the attention or interest of, as by beauty or excellence; to enchant."  This kind of being captivated allows us to more fully engage in life and the relationships around us.  It opens the door to more wholehearted living that is filled with love and mercy that transforms us.

I wrote these reflections on the Friday night and Saturday morning of this past week, and I didn't realize how prophetic they would turn out to be.  On Saturday night, my boyfriend Shane asked me to marry him and I am now blessed to call him my fiancé and will get to be his wife.  I am honestly still on cloud nine in excitement, wonder, disbelief, and praise - in the past several days I have experienced greater joy and love than I have ever known.  And this weekend was a celebration of love, between Shane and I, our families, our friends, and our future together.  But it is so much more than that, the beautiful gift of getting engaged and celebrating with the people I love is that it has shown me more about the love of God.  This weekend and new season in our lives truly feels like it has given me a glimpse of heaven, a glimpse of love that really is greater than all our sins, and a love that gives birth to joy, hope, and full life.

No words can describe the love and joy of this moment -
I promise to share the fairytale story at some point :)

After a whirlwind of getting engaged and celebrating with family and friends, we had the opportunity to go to church at Decatur First where both Shane and I are interns.  First, the three of us interns shared about our call story and plans for ministry with a Sunday School class.  Then Shane and I were able to go to Decatur First's Come As You Are worship gathering with both of our parents.  A smile came across my face as one of the songs we sang was From the Inside Out.  I thought back to what I wrote about less than 48 hours ago, and was filled with a deep sense of gratitude for how even in the chaos and excitement of a busy weekend, God captivated my heart and revealed more about his love to me.  God opened my heart and my eyes to see a glimpse of his perfect love and it is enchanting, beautiful, and so much more.  And I am captivated by him.

Family teaches me so much about what grace really looks like